I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
