if i can run in heels then i can drive
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
