So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
