He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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