When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How's work?
Spinning.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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