Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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