She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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