Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
