I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
