Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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