new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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