"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
