i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
