At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize