matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
