i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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