He kissed a someone with a penis
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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