you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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