I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
