Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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