my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize