She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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