i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
