batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
