so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
