I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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