we have pet lesbian snakes
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
