He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
