when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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