She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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