You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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