its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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