I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
