Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He passed out mid-signature
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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