yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
