ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
