If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
