Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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