Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She said her name was "party"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
