Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
