so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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