Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
