the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
