Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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