Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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