the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
