I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
