She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Pants are for mortals
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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