i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
