but the lizard people decide everything anyway
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize