just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
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You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
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Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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