I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
