How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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