I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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