I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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