The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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