explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
