based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
