I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
