So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just threw up on my dentist
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
